Court is Adjourned

(Sorry for the late post. I was writing this but time slipped up on me and I had to go get Miss T from school and transport her to dance.)

We were done by noon. The Atty had said (in the beginning) Tom would have to have this one. A lot of back door talking; then the Atty talked to me, asking what could I offer by way of Tom's changing, attitude etc. I said "He's done a complete 360 and is diligent" with his AA meetings etc. He asked if I would be willing to tell that to the Judge (which was a friend of a friend of mine). Of course.

Then I had to talk to the Cop......what? I felt like I was on trial lol.

Our turn, I had to stand with him, the Judge was not happy with Tom's DMV report at all esp since his last conviction in 2004. However, none of the other charges had convictions, so.....

I said what I had to say to the Judge. She wrote up her decision:

1 year no license; handed them over right then and there;
No paper license either (which means I'm back to the family taxi status)
24 months supervised probation
No alcohol or firearms in house (now I'm on probation lol - they're MY guns)
Comply with minimum 3 AA meetings per week.
$500 fine; $130 court cost
7 days jail....time served NOT counting (she said be glad I'm not giving you 60 days, you can thank your wife for that)

You could see it in her face she was NOT HAPPY!!!!

We met with a guy in the back to go over things. He gave Tom a number to call to set up his Probation appointment. We didn't have to pay anything on Tuesday, I guess that will be handled through probation like the last time (2004).

Tom was shut down for about 36 hours.....sad, but OK with the decision. He knew it was coming. By Thursday he had an outing with an AA buddy and they went around looking at boating and fishing stuff, then took in a noon AA meeting. It was a good day. It was good for him to hang out with this guy. He's 30 years sober!

Friday he was back to his aggravating normal self around the house.....he went with Miss T and me to her solo practice then out to eat.

He's trying to humor himself. Thank GOD cause I don't have the energy to do it for him!

Happy Fall Y'all

Well, Brrrr....it turned chilly here! I actually had to turn on our heat for Saturday night, was going to the upper 40's lower 50's and I knew Tom would freeze to death.

I took a picture of him earlier last week, all bundled up like the abominable snowman on the back deck. So?? The problem with that pic was that I was walking out onto the same deck in shorts and short sleeves. That's what I mean when I say he would "freeze to death". The high's are low 70's and mid 60's.

Speaking of Tom, today is his 9 month sobriety anniversary! Wooo hooo! We are all so proud of him. Tomorrow is the court date for that accident that changed his ways. He may have to pull 2 days in jail (was told up to 7 and he's already served 5 when he was arrested) so he may be on a mini "vacation" this week. We'll see. It all depends on which Judge is sitting and if the State has the blood work back yet.

Isn't that sad? A simple blood test, analyze it and send the results....9 months later. Sigh. Our government at work.

So Miss T is working on her Solo for this year. It was going OK to begin with. This past Friday though the teacher was firm with her. She told Miss T that she didn't see her having any "fun" with it.....not "looking forward to" the practice sessions. She also said that T wasn't "improving" and should have been up to this point. Also said for her to make a decision to do this or not.

Now Momma, who knows the kids routine, is thinking that she is of the personality that she will learn the steps proficiently, before adding emotion. She has always been this way. Teacher, however, thinks she should be feeling it all at the same time. That's not easy for Miss T to do.....we talked about that in the beginning of this Solo and she said "that's ok, she's at the stage and age where that will be developing, don't worry it will come"....

But Friday my kid left in tears.

Ready to give up.

My heart was breaking for her - I could hear the conversation through the closed door. When the teacher came out she looked at me and said "I'm ready to get paid and leave - she needs to decided if she wants to do this solo or not."

I'd like to have another teacher look at it.......but do I dare overstep that boundary? Do I just write this off as "teacher was having a bad day" which often she does? Maybe as this week goes on, I'll get the answer to that question.

The other thing from Friday was her bus ride home....she had found out that one of her busmates had died that morning in the Outer Banks - drowned while surfing (his tether got tangled on a piece of a pier and it held him under). He was only 15 -- a Christian boy very involved and much loved. The bus was quiet, bus driver in tears. I know the emotions that were going on....I too experienced tragedy like that when I was just a year older than she is now, and another 3 my Senior year. It's not easy comprehending death at such young ages much less the "why" that goes along with it.

Last night was the visitation for this boy. I'm told some 400 students were there...and that many gave their lives over to Jesus. Today is his funeral, praying for comfort for the family and friends.

Enjoyed my Saturday

It was a tough choice but, I had to do it. I just had to get out in the elements. My nephew wanted a boat ride with his daddy and called us. So Miss T, nephew, my bro and I piled in on my parents boat and took off to the south end of the Island.





Tom left Friday at midnight to join a group going by bus to DC to the 9/12 Taxpayer Rally. He had a great time, although it was a very long day. I sent him with a camera but he only took about 6 pics. Geeesh.....He got home last night about midnight, worn out. He said "we need to look into getting that chair" referring to the Scooter chair advertised. Poor guy, his legs cannot handle even a normal day. Even after the knee replacement surgery....you'd think that would have helped more.

Trouble is Medicare doesn't pay for the chair until you need it......that means you have to have troubles with your arms too. Funny, those people on the commercial don't seem to have arm trouble. I have a friend whose Mom had the chair....last I heard she wanted to sell it since her Mom passed away. $300, not a bad price. Maybe I'll see if she still has it.

It's another beautiful day here....guess I'll see if I can enjoy it too!!

9/11 remembering Joey

This is a COPY of my 2006 post when we were in AOL.

http://www.legacy.com/Sept11/Story.aspx?PersonID=117392

My Hero that I picked to Honor is our very own: Joseph P. Henry, age 25. Place killed: World Trade Center. 9-11-2001 Resident of New York, N.Y.

Now as Tom puts it: "I remember Joey and my daughter going to school together PS-212 and playing in the playground in the neighborhood of Waterview Towers. (Joey's sister would also babysit for Tom's daughters) Tom's family along with Joey's family and others from the area would spend summers in upstate NY, the kids rode their bikes, went swimming in a creek and a pool...it was such freedom to the kids to be out of the confines of the city and the apartment co-op. Big Ed (Joey's Dad) was the youngest Battallion Chief in the fire department at the time of his promotion. Joey and 2 of his brother's followed their Dad and Grandfather by joining the team."

Tom called his daughter that night after the towers were hit. She told him "Dad, Joey was there".....his heart dropped. Tom was already in tears because 'his city' was being attacked. Imagine his pain having found out one of "his kids" had given his all. I must also mention that my Tom is a Retired NYPD--so this truly was "his city" in all aspects. It could have easily been him, had he still been working, and even if he wasn't working, I'm sure he would have felt it his duty to respond.

http://www.fallenbrothers.org/community/archive/index.php?t-3183.html

Bay 44th forever Joey's street [Archive] - Fallen Brothers Community



This is Joey in his probation hat (on the job training). To YOU Joseph P. Henry we remember you proudly and fondly. Edward "Big Ed" & Alice Henry, Eddie Jr, Michael, Danny, Mary & Kathleen, the LaRocca's say God Bless YOU and thank you for your service to the people. NYFD & Ladder 21 lost a great American. May God continue to give you His peace that passes all understanding as you remember Joey.

Love & peace to all the families, Tom & Sharon.


Bay 44th forever Joey's street

Renamed for firefighter

By MELISSA GRACE
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Firefighter Joseph Patrick Henry was just 25 when he was killed by collapsing debris at the World Trade Center.

Last week, the street he grew up on, Bay 44th St. between Shore Parkway and Cropsey Ave., was renamed in his honor.

"It's unbelievable how much I miss him. I wish he were here," said Alice Henry, the firefighter's 63-year-old mother. "I'm so proud this street was named after him. He was born and raised here. His name will live forever."

Joseph Henry - Joey, to his friends and family - grew up in the Waterview Towers in Bath Beach in a family of firefighters.

It was on Bay 44th St. outside his apartment building that Henry, a sportsman and Yankee fan, played countless games of football. It was where his brother taught him to throw lefty, and where he pitched more than a few snowballs.

Henry joined the FDNY as an emergency medical technician in 1997. In October 2000, he became a firefighter. He was assigned to Ladder 21 in Manhattan.

During a solemn, snowbound ceremony to the skirl of bagpipes Friday, Henry's mother and father, retired Battalion Chief Edward Henry, unveiled a green street sign. It reads, "Firefighter Joseph Patrick Henry Lane." Close to 300 firefighters, family, friends and neighbors looked on.

The tribute was held near a flagpole and a commemorative stone placed outside Edward and Alice Henry's apartment by their neighbors, in tribute to Joey Henry and all those who died on Sept. 11, 2001.

"We never saw each other that day," said Edward Henry, 62, even though both he and his son responded to the World Trade Center that morning. Henry believes his son was in the north tower helping to evacuate people when the building crashed to the ground.

The firefighter, whose remains have not been found, has three older brothers. Two of them, Eddie Jr. and Michael, are FDNY lieutenants. The other, Danny, is a Port Authority police officer. He also is survived by two sisters, Mary, a schoolteacher, and Kathleen, a college student.

Pol lends a hand

The idea to rename the street in Henry's honor came from Arnold Belkin, 58, a neighbor of the Henry family. Belkin's son, Adam, was one of the firefighter's closest friends. Belkin set his plan in motion with a letter to City Councilman Domenic Recchia Jr. (D-Coney Island) asking that the street be renamed.

Choking up with emotion as he paid tribute to his friend, Adam Belkin, 27, said at the renaming ceremony, "I wonder what Joey would have thought of this. ... He would have done a double take, put his hand over his mouth ... and then laughed."

Originally published on December 9, 2002


http://www.nydailynews.com/boroughs/story/41764p-39404c.html

Labor Day already?

It's hard to believe.....school has started. Summer seems to have slipped out of here. In the 60's-70's at night already. 80's in the day. Even the pool is too cool. Very unusual for us. Labor Day weekend is normally very hot!

Does this mean we're in for an early Winter? I hope not. I am NOT a cold weather person. Miss T would LOVE if it would snow -- for some reason she's into that.

Tom on the other hand cannot handle cold weather....his legs ache terribly.

I am worried about him though. His mind doesn't "connect" anymore, and he doesn't eat right. He has a Dr appointment Tuesday. We'll find out then if there's more to it.



Headed over to a friends house last Friday night for some tunes and beer. It was nice to just hang out, relax and chat. At least I had my designated driver with me. Trying to get back into some real world activities.

I've changed my medicine, so I'm hoping for more energy and a happier outlook. Let's hope this helps.

So today I went out with a girlfriend....we went to see "All About Steve" then out to dinner with our kids. Should have left the kids at home lol. What were we thinking?

The movie is a bit annoying....I'd say wait for HBO or Netflix.

Otherwise, not much going on over here. Busy Dance Mom now. Miss T's solo practice is looking good. Just waiting to hear the competition dates....and fees.

I can't plan a Christmas trip just yet, not till after the October court date for Tom. But I am looking into dates to head to Florida. School's out on 12/18 and I'm trying to talk everyone into a flight out of here on 12/25. Yep Christmas Day. Wonder how that will go over? Wake up, shake the stocking and grab your luggage! Merry Christmas!

I met Ellen!

It's about time too! LOL. I finally got to meet Ellen (NY State of Mind), a fellow JLander from the days when AOL was good to us.

2 years ago Ellen was coming through our town on her way home from vacation to visit her sister in law and family. We had hoped to get together then, but our schedules just didn't allow it.

The next summer she got a different job and wasn't able to make the trip.

So finally we made plans for this year. Since her SIL's family is near me ( our kids are in the same school too), we talked via Facebook, making our plans and I followed them to Myrtle to the condo. We left about 8:30am for the 1:15hr trip.

It was like old home week, except it was one day.

TnT went with me too. Miss T didn't hesitate, anytime you say Myrtle Beach she's in the car. I told Tom that he'd enjoy meeting these people, especially since they were from his neck of the woods....NY. And talk they did!!

It's a good thing I can speak NYeese -

Ellen's husband met us all in the garage and gave us our parking passes. I went over to greet him with a hug just like "long time no see". Then it was up to the room.

Wow! Ellen is more beautiful in person. She was just as expected; warm, sincere and fun. And her kids! Double WOW. The daughter (10) accepted us into the fold and immediately took a liking to Miss T, as did the son (15).

Now about that..............

Well, let's just say - Ellen, we may have to begin saving money NOW for the wedding ROFL.

The girls played in the pool and the boys (hmmm the men count too - 5) played in the surf. The weather was beautiful and the water was perfect for wading or swimming and the guys got in some boogie board time.

Lunch was a delicious meal of bread, salad, meatballs and rotinni cooked by the Inlaws and consumed by all....twice! Guess it WAS good....

The kids stayed busy on the Nintendo's when they weren't in the water. Luckily those games interact so they could play "teams" and I learned a new trick. You can buy an adapter to house all the games in one place on a miniSD card. Thanks "J"!!

After waiting the traditional "one hour after eating" (we didn't intend it that way, we were just talking and cleaning up) we spent the rest of the evening on the beach.

The "boys and girls" played frisbee; I took pictures while us ladies (and Tom) watched the game. SHOW OFFS!!

Hmmmm that's funny. Tom is always among the ladies.....well, we all know his legs don't let him participate in much, so he's better off hanging out with us. Except we can't tell all our secrets when he's around.....

Back up to the room to shower off and get ready to leave.

Only I really didn't want to leave. I could have stayed and talked all week (I know Ellen is glad I didn't). It was the best day I have had in a long time! A much needed "me" day with some good people. I am so very glad we were able to meet!

I would post a picture of us, but trust me.....no one wants to see me in my bathing suit ROFLMAO!!!! Let's just keep that to ourselves Ellen.

Now Miss T wants to go to Long Island. Hmmmmm wonder what for?

2 months later......

Wow has it really been 2 months?

Bad me BAD ME.

Seriously, bad me. My heel spurs still hurt. The cortizone shot lasted good for about a week, then slowly lead back to the original excruciating pain. As long as I keep it stretched it's not too bad....but as soon as I sit (here to write this) for a while or sleep BAM !! Just careful to not step wrong, think I'll try accupuncture now....just got to remember to call.

In the meantime, that makes me walk funny and that throws my hip/back outta whack so it's off to the Chiro.

Bear with me, I might get long winded,

Tom is good at the no drugs/no drinking game. Continuing AA 3x a week and looks forward to it. 7 months next week FREE!! What a great accomplishment.

We went to ECity for the court date (April 08 when he did the Uturn and got stuck and DUI). Trial by jury - that's what he wanted. Went up Sunday night to be in court bright and early Monday morning 9:30am. Waited.......and waited, and...

Waited.........they picked a jury for another case and said "come back 2pm tomorrow". OK, easy enough.

NOT.

Tuesday was a bust, did not hear Tom's case, so I had to head home to work Wed & Thurs, leaving him there in the hotel room. Said I'd be back Thurs night/Fri morning or before if he needed,

Thursday afternoon they started his trial, I drove up after work, arrived around 11pm and hit the sheets saying "take the cab in the morning and let me sleep in" which is what he did. ($550 for hotel for week) I arrived 11am in time to hear the Patrolman give his testimony and our cross exam. Then Lunch.

Resume trial and Tom decides to testify (OMG).....the DA tried to discredit him and then the Jury was dismissed. At 3:30pm the jury came back in with a NOT GUILTY!!

Wooo hooo.............until Saturday when he received a bill from the attorney for $4,500!! Are you kidding? No one ever said that there'd be more money than the original fee.

This takes its toll on me.....working, driving 4 hrs up there, worrying, money, worrying, driving, worrying...you get the picture.

Not Tom. He sits around listening to Talk Radio and just exists. No desire for anything. In an "I've made my bed now I'm wallering in it" mood.

Sucks for me. I'm 44 and my husband is a knot on the log! Hello.....this is not fun for me. We can barely agree on doing anything...no movies (he's not into that) no live shows, no trips to remote beaches.........


Now Depression.............

I have been in such a bad funk all year...yes all year.

Need a new roof on the house, which will mean fixing the ceilings, repair, mud, repaint. Do I have the cash? Hell no. Can we get an equity line? Maybe, but there goes another $$$$ per month to pay out.

My work load is piling up, need to start working longer....try telling that to the boss. We started another 7 unit building of townhouses which is keeping us busy. In the meantime the 10 renters we had have begun to move out.....I get to go take the pictures and assess the units.

These were brand new....so you figure there's going to be a "lived in" look now. Only the boss has lost his marbles. An 8x10 kitchen with vinyl on the floor has a 1" gash in it....he wants to hold out $800 (because he'll have to replace it if someone wants to buy the unit).

HELLO! Um, normal wear and tear (in NC) does not mean return to brand new condition. So this has actually made me ill! I know it's not my money but think about it.......$1,200 security deposit and you want to keep $800 for a small cut? Speaks like a miser to me. And yes, he's known to be "gimme gimme gimme while I takey takey takey" - trust me he does not reside in the real world. Can anyone say "Ebenezar Scrooge"?

I did put a bug in the ear of the tenant's father.......ask for photos and look up the regulations. Ooops, did I say that??

It's not just that....it's the little things like "fill out this (personal) for for me" when he can clearly see that I am swamped.

Then to come home to find out no one has even remotely considered DINNER. (Um Mr Mom, retired remember? Home alone)

There was dance drama throughout the summer over silly things -- think cat fight - "why is this kid doing that and not mine?" whine whine whine.

One parent was even sooooooo close to being asked "don't bring your kid back". OMG, if that had been me I would have been so embarrassed.

Friends? Where? HA! I can't even muster up enough enthusiasm to get together with anyone. My bestestfriendinthewholewideworld Cindilouwho even threatened to divorce me, and I haven't seen her or my gal pal T since JANUARY! Bad me, bad me.

I've blamed it all on being a one car family of 3 needing to be in 3 different places at 3 different times between the hours of 7am and 9pm. Who can do it all and still have time, much less want to do anything else?

So I bought a new car July 1....an '07 Endeavor SUV. It's nice. Has plenty of room for us and Ms Dancer's stuff for her competitions.

Did that solve my depression? NO.

But a light bulb has blinked......I've been slowly getting like this ever since the co-worker left for Texas. It makes sense now....with no other interaction in the office (just me and boss) I have been slowly sinking into my own depression.

Yes, I do see my girl pals at dance...but it's not the same as hanging out at the beach or getting together for a drink or meal. We're still stuck to the kids schedule, not on our own time. And of course the dance drama.......

Miss T is growing.....GROWING you hear me. Dance starts back tomorrow. She's "graduated" to the Jr Senior groups at the studio. YAY! She'll be 13 this Fall. I've reflected back to when I was her age (OMG!) and I've got to say I am thankful, very thankful to have such a great kid, drama free (for now). I was a pistol and drove my Mom crazy. (Memo to self...pretty soon you won't know anything according to your kid...they know it all.)

7th grade will start in just over a week....hard to believe.

OK, foot feels a bit better....back to that place she calls her bedroom. I'm working on it - alone! Watch out!