Sunday, July 12, 2015

Seriously? A year later?

I just logged in and's been a year!

A year of changes.
A year of unknown.
A year of what next?

Since I last made a post, Miss T has graduated from High School with Honors, made a Radio Shack commercial with Orlando Jones, and joined a professional dance troupe.  They are practicing locally but we do not know what the gigs might be yet.

In the beginning of her Sr year, her boyfriend joined the Navy, came home for Christmas with a very different attitude (one of arrogance) and they broke up.  Broke her heart.

As the boyfriend was leaving for boot camp, Tom was in the hospital, going into renal failure.  We had been at Chapel Hill a month before for a consultation and then next thing I know his lab work was getting worse.  A week into the hospitalization they suggested I move him to Hospice.  His family came in from Florida and Texas and were with him until the end.  One of our last lucid conversations was "It wasn't supposed to be this way.".  I simply said "I know" - that was on Wednesday.  Thursday he was in and out of consciousness and by Friday just unresponsive.  His family came in on Saturday and stayed.  Monday night Miss T came by to say her "Goodbye's" and Tuesday night the entire family went out to eat and raise a glass. 

I had a funny feeling that I needed to go back.  So I did.  He passed at 10:20 pm on September 16th with his brother saying his goodbye. 

I sent Tom home with his Dad (literally).  He was cremated and was able to ride to Florida with them as they headed home.  He wanted to be buried in the National Cemetery there with his Mother.  Handing his remains over to his Father was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  A couple of weeks later, we flew down for the funeral.  As the service was ending, a motorcycle revved up and went past the hall.  We all knew it was Tom's way of saying "I'm riding and all is well".

Our next journey was to Chicago for the Naval Boot Camp Graduation Ceremony.  What a beautiful event.  Makes you proud to be an American in every way possible.  Miss T so wanted to discuss Tom's death with the bf but he of course didn't want to discuss "sad" things.  Hmmmm.... ok.

After Christmas we took off to the mountains to visit the bf who was home on leave.  Very different and distant.  I had assumed it was the training, but something else was off too.  We left feeling like we didn't know this person anymore.   On a more fun note, I had bought 4 scratch off tickets on the way up there and it wasn't until we were leaving that I scratched them....winning $100!  We were then on a mission.  Seemed like we stopped at every gas station in sight, buying and winning $1, $2, $10, $20.....we were crazed!

We have made 2 more trips to the NC Mountains.   One just to run away and another for an emergency.  One of Miss T's friends was in an accident and of course we hauled off.  

This picture is of a covered bridge just outside of Boone.  The neighborhood is "Sleepy Hollow".  Miss T fell in love with the bridge the first time we found it some 4 years ago.

We also are enjoying a locally filmed thriller named "Sleepy Hollow" which has a 200+ year old resurrected "Ichabod Crane" into our world, his future, to solve mysteries of why the 4 Horsemen are terrorizing the town of Sleepy Hollow.  It's a play on history, some truths and some fiction thrown it.  It's pretty awesome picking out the scenery - local town hall, streets, bars, waterfronts etc.

Another locally filmed thriller is "Under The Dome" based on a Stephen King novel.  It mostly takes place in my rural county, so the same goes for recognizing scenery - courthouse, streets and farms.

This fall "Secrets and Lies" came out.  It was also filmed locally but based on our sister city Charlotte.

Once upon a time we were known as East Hollywood.  Screen Gems Studios was home to a lot of filming.  Things slowed down for a while.  A couple of years ago "Dawson's Creek" brought the industry back to the area.  Unfortunately, the governmental incentives play a big part in where the filming goes.  Seems Georgia is winning that one right now and a lot of our crews are going there.

My point is, we have met some great people and some of our locals have been lucky enough to have some recurring roles in a few.  That is how we met the dance teacher and got involved in the commercial.  Networking!!

Now, what to do next about life?

Seriously thinking that living here is 
1) too much $$
2) too much upkeep - lots of room and land
3) too far away from _______ and 
4) full of memories.  

I might just be a weeeee bit afraid of change.
Not OF change, maybe TO change.

This would require getting out of my comfort zone, meeting new people, going new places, and packing.  Yes, packing.  OMG I've been here since 1989.  Way too much stuff.  I would have to downsize, of course, and that's a smart thing.  Then there's Miss T who is beginning college and going through some rough anxiety right now (with break up and death).  It's the where and when and how of it all.  I'm not one of those kinds that just ups and leaves whenever the mood strikes.  I like roots.  But I feel stale.  I feel blah.  And I feel safe.

I've turned 50 this past week- the dreaded F word.  I don't want to die saying "what if" or "why didn't I".  I need something fresh....and happy.