Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Ups, Downs and more snow
Snowing today.....what's up with that? Just a drizzle of snow though. It will be gone before sunset. It did look pretty as I was driving into work this morning - all flakey and flying around. Luckily our ground temps are warm enough to go ahead and melt the mess although it will stay on the bushes and trees for a bit.
I know the kids at school were hyped up to see it -- hoping for another "snow day". But as I reminded Miss T recently, that just means you'll have a make up day.
I remember loving to see it snow as a kid. Playing in it as long as I could since we rarely got any snow here in the coastal south. Christmas of '89 we had the "big blizzard" and there was about 30" of snow in my yard! What a slushy mess!
Ups & Downs?
Well, yeah, I know I've been MIA for over a week. Trust me when I say OVERLOAD.
January 19th -- my first night of sewing classes. Always trust your instincts. Miss T wanted a dance mom to drop her off to me when they were done (7pm) so I agreed even though I wouldn't be finished until 8:30pm.
Mr Man had been in town earilier that day...checking on his new glasses and had been drinking. I was furious! Why was he driving around like that? Said he had hit the front of the truck on something, he "thinks" a tree....????? but was on his way home. (Yes he DID go home; began to ready himself for the court date of 1/20, packing an overnight bag and meds cause it's a 4 hour drive up to ECity.)
You cannot rationalize with a drunk. I've learned to let be whatever will be.
After classes we headed on home, and I was on my cell with my Mom explaining this to her. I turned down our main road (a state highway) and about half way home I noticed ahead beyond a curve LIGHTS...an accident. I said to Mom "wonder if it's Tom?". I mean for real, he was already "under the influence" and you never know what they'll get to thinking. I approached a guy directing traffic and asked "would that happen to be a 4 dr grey truck?"........
He said "maybe"....I'm still on the phone with my Mom and I say "hmmmmm". Next I approach one of the patrolmen and ask the same question and his response was "Yeah. Lives right up the road here?" asking me in return. I said Yeah, then that's my husband and sure enough standing in front of the ambulance is what I expected.
Miss T saw him first....I looked past him at my beautiful truck crumpled in the deep ditch, kissing a tree. He had near missed a head on, and clipped the mirror and gone off the road. He had a slight cut on his forehead and stood there with the dumbest care less look on his face. The cop says to me "he's drunk" and myself says back (without thought) "ya think?". One day they're gonna arrest my smart ass!!
The patrolman took him to the hospital first, then to jail. It was 2 days before I would really talk with Tom. I let him sit and sober up.
That was a Monday night. In the meantime I'm calling all around to rehab centers for help....right! Good luck. You've got to almost be court ordered to get in or brought in by hospital referral (remember the Thursday before? Tried that one.).
Fast forward to Saturday afternoon when I finally bailed him out of jail under the assumption that he was now ready to reclaim his life. He sat in jail, listening to other "guests" and said to me more than once "you wouldn't believe the attitude and comments coming from these" drunks....I said Oh yes I would. He realized then he was basically watching a mirror image of himself.
He came home that Monday as he said he would; got ready for an early bedtime (since he was to get up early on Tuesday); took his pain meds and an Ambien (yes on top of all that drinking) and got dressed for bed.
Sometime unbeknownst to him, he got in the truck and drove away. His only memory is trying to back out of the ditch and then a cop getting him out of the truck. Nothing between bedtime and then.
Scarey. Had I not been in a class until 8:30pm it could have been ME and Miss T he hit.
The Ambien label warns about sleepwalking.
In the back of Tom's mind, what was he pondering? Death? It sure looked like it.
"Scared straight" Tom began AA meetings, saying "I don't want to live like this anymore" and it seems he really began to look at this problem sincerely. His comment to me was "I thought I had it under control, but I guess I was wrong."
He came home from the first AA meeting excited! Roomie's hubby took him...I have strict orders that I don't drive him to or from a meeting unless it is a dire emergency.
This past Monday he had an appointment with a clinic to assess his need for counseling. He seems to really want to go through with this!
I am handling this much better than I thought. I can see the sincere pain and desire to be whole. So it is my job (I'm told and I read) to remain optimistic and encouraging which is what I am trying to do. I have told him how proud I am that he is taking these steps on his own.
He visited the truck yesterday, shocked at its appearance. At dinner he became very emotional while talking about it. Seeing the truck was a solidifying realization of just how far out there he was - and how close to death he came.
Let's hope so. I'm knocking on wood......and hopeful.